Cancel Culture Has Come For Our Sports

Author's Note:  Every word in BOLD is the name of an actual organized team.

The Cancel Culture Blitz: How the Game Changed for Everyone, Left or Right

Cancel culture isn’t coming for football anymore; it’s here.  Somewhere along the line, this thing became a monster.  And before we start pointing fingers, this isn’t a partisan thing.  Every d@mn body does it now.  Constantly.  Turn on a “News” network… doesn’t matter if it’s right or left… and half of what you see will be folks screaming that the other side is cancelling them, and demanding the other side therefore be cancelled.  And back and forth ad infinitum.

From Consumer Justice to Cancel Chaos: The Evolution of Cancel Culture in America.

Like most things, the idea of canceling wasn’t always a bad thing.  Folks find out a clothing company is using child labor… they stop buying the clothes.  The company goes under, and people stop using child labor.  Even in sports it’s an old thing.  Michael Vick runs a dog fighting ring, and public opinion ran him out of the NFL.  There’s a whole list of Athletes who have done something messed up and it cost them their career.  That whole thing is as American as anything.  

It’s an integral part of American Capitalism…  In the end, the Consumer calls the shots.  But this… isn’t that.  This is madness, on both sides.  We don’t cancel people or things over felonies any more.  We do it because people don’t share our opinion.  Sometimes even because someone hasn’t spoken up to agree with our point of view.  It’s not enough anymore that we respect each others’ opinions now… we have to openly agree.  

And now… they’re coming for sports teams’ names.  We’ve all heard about the issues with Native American team names.  The Redskins were nameless for years, and the Indians just became the Guardians.

Navigating the Gray Areas: A Closer Look at Controversial Team Names

I’ll be honest… Until recently, I didn’t understand the fuss.  Some, yes.  A buddy of mine who’s Native American explained that ‘Redskins’ is pretty much the equivalent of the ‘N’ word.  So yeah… that’s reasonable.  In fact, if so it's overdue.  But some of the others… I still don’t understand.  I’ve never thought of the Seminole war chant or the Tomahawk chop as insulting, but h@ll… I’m not Native American.  I have no idea what these folks are thinking and feeling.  If it bothers them, and the teams agree… Ok.  

There are definitely times a name change is in order.  In fact, there have actually been some pretty horrific team names over history.  There was a baseball team in London, Canada in 2007 called the “Rippers”.  As in “Jack The”.  I mean… d@mn.  Did anyone actually think that wouldn’t be an issue?  And there have been plenty more.  Among the team names that had to be changed…. The Pekin High School Chinks, The Frisco Fighting Coons, The Coachella Valley High School Arabs, The Wahpeton Wops. The St. Bonaventure University Brown Squaws.  (The Brown Squaws name was changed, for the record, because it was discovered that “Brown Squaw”, in the Choctaw language, literally translates to a Woman’s female parts.  Google it.)

But in recent weeks, they’re going after every d@mn body.  Teams in every sport, from pro teams right on down to High school teams.  From both sides.  So get ready, because it looks like the whole d@mn sports world is about to get an ugly makeover.

All of the Native American names are out, and there are a ton of them… 444 “Indians”.  75 “Chiefs”. Dozens of teams named after individual tribes.  And the Native Americans aren’t the only ones to go.  There are quite a few ethnic names that have to go as well, just in case someone is offended by their use.  So say goodbye to the Orientals, Arabs, Canadians, Irish, Cubans, Brittons, and Swedes.  (Again… not saying some of these probably shouldn’t go, or that some should.  Just pointing out what’s coming down the road.)

Targeting the Targets: Why Teams Named After Violence Are on the Cancel Culture Hit List

Another target?  Guns and violence.  Because nothing provokes mass violence like a sports team called the Snipers, Cutthroats, Daggers, or Gunners, right?  Out they go, and they can take the Bullets with them.

In fact, there are a whole d@mn lot of teams named after people who do violent things.  There’s no violence in sports!  So we now bid farewell to the Assassins, Bombers, Brawlers, Hitmen, Desperados, and the Destroyers.  But wait… there’s more!  Following them out the cancel culture door we see the Enforcers, Knockouts, and Pounders.

In fact, let’s take all of the fighting out of sports.  There are 45 “Fighting” teams, from the Bees to the Zebras… and another 7 who are “Fightin”.   all of them out the door.

While we’re at it, you know who also shoots people… and uses guns to do it?  The military.  No doubt someone will probably want to get rid of them as well, right?  So a moment of silence for the Colonels, Majors, Captains, Generals, Admirals, Fleet, Corps, and the Sherman Tanks. And while no one’s sure what Gyrenes are, they sound militant.  Better send them packing, too.  And we can't leave the police out!  See ya later,  Vice Squad!

Unmasking the Open Secrets: How Cancel Culture is Tackling Racism in Team Names

But it’s not just all of this horrible violence they’re after.  There is racism hidden in the sports world.  Right out in the open.  Fortunately, there are folks here to get rid of those teams for us as well.  So farewell to the Cottonpickers, Halfbreeds, Whitefaces, Cotton Kings, Coons, The Confederates, The Clan, Black Devils, Hillbillies, and Islanders.

The X-Rated Lineup: Why Obscene Team Names Are Facing the Cancel Culture Axe

How does this work for you?

But we’re just getting warmed up.  Do you have any idea how many obscene, even pornographic, team names there are?  No way we can tolerate these disgusting hidden titles.  Into the trash with the Cornjerkers, Kiss, Jug Rox, Nimrods, Peanuts, Polar Twins, Predators, Swallows, Trojans, Peglegs, Rimrockers, Ripknees, Honkers, Red Tops, Red Tails, Red Wings, Gamecocks, Peacocks, Fighting Cocks, and Hooters. (In their defense… the Hooters team really was named after the restaurant)

Divine Intervention: Why Even the Heavens Aren't Safe from Cancel Culture

How does this heading resonate with you?

What else can we not tolerate?  God!  Religion has to be left out of everything now, so away with the Christ Ambassadors, Jesuits, Christians, Churchmen, Crusaders, Higher Praise, Missionaries, Praying Colonels, and Preachers.  

And all of those religion based schools… Liberty, Notre Dame, BYU, Baylor, SMU… their nickname might not be offensive… (Other than the Irish being racist, the Flames promoting arson, and the other three taking advantage of animals, of course) but we can’t have all of that God stuff.  And we can’t discriminate here, can we?  

If God is out, then the Devil has to hit the bricks with him.  Last call for those Devils, Dark Angels, Demons, Diablos, Devil Dogs, Devil Pups, Devil Rays, The Black, Red, Purple, Maroon, Green, Sun, Sea, Screaming, Fog, And Dust Devils…. And Sin.

The Cancel Culture Cleanup: From Drugs to Puns, No Team Name is Safe

What else do need to cancel?  Drugs!  We just say no to the Cottonmouths, Krunk, Lizard Kings, Rollers, Steamrollers, and Red-Eyed Panthers.

But there is still more filth, racism, oppression, and a bunch of other catch-phrase talking point propaganda to weed out here.  Deaf Hoosiers, Midgets, and Martians?  All discriminatory to the folks who are deaf, little, and alien.  Pride is a gay thing now, so that’s gotta go.  Gamblers, Hobos and Drifters?  Unwholesome.  Can’t happen.  The Battling Bathers… Why in the h@ll are they battling while they’re bathing.  We all know what that is.  

Those on the far right will need us to get rid of the Borderites, and send the Democrats with them.  La Muerta means Death… that’s just not appropriate.  The MAINEiacs and Navi-Gators are being let go because their stupid pun nicknames are offensive.  The Earwigs are gone because Earwigs are disgusting and naming a team after them is, as well.  The Feet… that’s right, there’s a team called “The Feet”… just… what is wrong with people?

That last paragraph or went off into stupid, didn’t it?  Sadly, though, as silly as it may have been, it wasn’t any more ridiculous than all of the garbage that came before it.  It was all nonsense.  We all keep falling into this stupid trap circle… The media tells us to be pissed at things, and we do so. The politicians join in because fear, anger, and conflict keeps them in power while it’s making the “News” channels and web sites rich. And in the process, they keep Americans at each others’ throats.

The Final Whistle: Why We Must Guard the Soul of Sports from Cancel Culture

Sports has always been an equalizer in America.  They have always torn down boundaries at a fundamental level for us.  I’m a Packers fan, and have seen my share of games at Lambeau.  Never have I bothered to care who the person next to me voted for or how they feel about individual issues.  

Americans have always left that bullsh@t at the gate.  When we watch football or baseball or basketball or hockey… we share something.  It’s a literal bond.  If we let all of this creep into sports… it will ruin it.  The media and politicians are going to continue to feed us crap, but it’s on us to decide if we eat it or not.  All the problems we have going on in this world… pandemics, half the d@mn planet on fire half the summer, little angry countries running around with big guns itching to use them…. Genocides, hunger… it’s a long damn list.  

Maybe there are some teams nicknames that are objectionable.  Change them if it keeps people happy.  But let’s not let this get out of control.  These are sports teams.  People who play games.  The nicknames were never meant to be taken seriously.  We all need to stop letting the media turn us into Trolls; they’re letting us be our own Villains.  Sports still belongs to the fans.  We can keep these cancel-happy b@stards out if we so choose.

Further Reading

For a deeper dive into the social impact of cancel culture, check out our comprehensive article: The Social Impact of Cancel Culture: A Deep Dive into Its Effects on Sports and Beyond.